Pokemon Tensei! Trapped in Another World With My COMP!
by Zantetsuken Reverse
Summary: Gods do not play dice with the fates of men. They dump them in parallel universes when they're bored, and watch the chaos unfold. What happens when the wisdom of other worlds is folly in another? A series of humorous oneshots about three Megaten protagonists in the happy world of Pokemon. Freedom!Demifiend, Neutral!Hero of SMT1, Massacre!Nanashi.


The inspiration for this fanfiction comes twofold: how much Pokémon borrows from Megaten, and too many bad isekais.

It never made sense why Pokémon were stored in computers, until I realized that it's from Megaten. So is the six-Pokémon limit.

I've come to despise the isekai genre, albeit unfairly. Isekai is about characters trapped in another world, usually fantasy. It's not a bad concept, but the market is oversaturated with bad Mary Sue fantasies, where the protagonist is stronger, smarter, nicer, and better than everyone else and every girl falls in love with him. I don't even like the ones where the hero suffers and everyone hates him. I know that the problem is bad writing, and that a lot of my old favorites do have similar plots, but I can't pick up any new ones.

One reason why the main characters do so well in the new world is that they have knowledge from the present day. Sometimes it makes sense (normal teenager makes beet sugar), but it can get ridiculous (same teenager treats cholera patients). So I wanted to write something where prior knowledge can screw up the characters.

This is going to be a bunch of oneshots because I don't want to have the whole narrative of the classical Pokémon journey, except with Megaten characters.

Pokémon Tensei! Trapped in Another World With my COMP!

It started, like many things, in a bar.

The Quantum Paradise Bar and Grill was the only bar in the universe. It was built in a dimension otherwise devoid of intelligent life after a freak accident involving a spaceship with a matter replicator, a stowaway who with a passion for microbrewing, and a tome of eldritch lore that had been taken on board in case of a _Doom_-like scenario. Most bars wouldn't be able to operate on a planet whose inhabitants had no concept of alcohol, money, or buildings, if it hadn't been for that paranoid _Doom_ fan. After a deal with a sherry-loving demon, an election, and a lecture on the value of economics, investments, and advertising, the crew of the _Yellow River_ turned their ship into the Quantum Paradise, open to anyone who could find it. In exchange for free drinks for life, that sherry-loving demon would give the crew rides back to earth. Most returned to their old positions, but a few quit their jobs and hired friends and relatives as wait staff.

The most important rule of the Quantum Paradise was that all fights had to be taken outside. This was even more important than the rules against harassing the staff, not serving the visibly intoxicated, and paying for drinks up front. While the bar turned away no one who could reach it (and hadn't been banned), it wasn't uncommon for rival factions to encounter one another. Management pointed out that fighting would destroy the bar and make a lot of enemies out of people who liked the bar. Miraculously, enough big-name demons and gods liked having the bar more than a victorious skirmish, and the bar was allowed to stay.

Still, not all heads were cool enough to endure the sight of hated enemies relaxing, and even the most aggressive games of billiards, darts, and _Pong_ were enough to satisfy their bloodlust.

"Let's have a game instead," suggested Forseti, pushing Parasurama and Uriel away from each other with a weak Garu spell. "Competitive _Tetris_? Beer pong? Um… speed math facts?"

"Fates of Men," uttered Uriel.

The surrounding patrons murmured.

"Lost in another world," added Parasurama.

Forseti looked at the faces of the two patrons. The Abrahamic monotheon and the Hindu pantheon were usually on good terms, but it looked like nothing short of a year-long campaign could distract these two from their current feud.

"All right," said Forseti. "But as referee, I will decide the setting."

He turned towards one of the most impartial patrons. "Arceus? Would you mind lending us your world?"

Arceus shrugged. "Go ahead," it said telepathically. "I could use something different."

"That's settled, then," said Forseti. "Now go and pick your pieces. Remember, due compensation is required."

Uriel flapped his wings, and vanished in a flash of fire. Parasurama stormed out the door.

Forseti let out a sigh of relief. He didn't like sentencing the innocent, but at least only three people would suffer to save everyone in the bar, as well as everyone the patrons would take their anger out on after losing the bar.

After all, what harm could three people do?

X

No demons. No light. No food.

Kazuya cupped his right hand in the puddle of cave water, and gulped down the chalky draught, keeping his left hand on the cave wall. The spongy round things were probably mushrooms; he shoveled handful after handful in his mouth.

When he got out of the cave, oh, how they would suffer. Oh yes, they thought he was an old fool whose only power came from old glories, but once he was out, he would show them exactly why he was the most powerful demon summoner. His demons would paint the walls with their entrails, brand their lungs with bits of rusty nails, and ohh yes, he would personally chop off their heads once they couldn't take it anymore, cries for mercy still on their lips…

He wondered if he should be tasting the echo of dripping water, or smelling the pain in his knees as they smashed to the ground. Colors of chalky water danced across his eardrums, leaving behind streaks of sour light.

KAZUYA. WAKE.

Kazuya stood up, blinking. About a dozen demons were in the room with him, arguing in languages he couldn't understand. He looked around, wondering why he could suddenly see the cave walls, and then he saw his prone body.

"Oh," he said, anger evaporating with the rest of his emotions. "I'm dead."

A tall, skeletal figure holding a scythe nodded.

"What now?" said Kazuya.

Death shrugged. THAT IS TO BE DETERMINED. YOU BELIEVED IN NOTHING.

"I believe in reincarnation," said Kazuya.

YOU KNEW IT WAS REAL BECAUSE YOUR WIFE WAS REINCARNATED. YOU DID NOT BELIEVE, ONLY KNEW.

"…True," said Kazuya. "So, who are they and why are they here?"

YOU DID NOT BELIEVE, BUT YOU KNEW EACH OF THESE PANTHEONS TO BE AS REAL AS REINCARNATION. EACH OF THESE PSYCHOPOMPS HAVE EQUAL CLAIM TO YOUR SOUL. CHOOSE ONE.

"Can I just take reincarnation?"

THERE ARE MANY CULTURES THAT BELIEVE IN REINCARNATION. THERE IS ALSO THE ONE FOR PEOPLE WHO DID NOT BELIEVE IN ANYTHING. WHICH ONE?

Kazuya sighed. "All of you, get in line, and give me your pitch."

The psychopomps reluctantly got in line.

"Uriel, I know you're going to take me to Hell. Get out of line."

"That is not what I am here for," said Uriel.

Kazuya blinked. As much as he didn't like angels, they were straightforward and did not lie. Still, Kazuya was a programmer was well as a summoner and knew perfectly well how badly you could get screwed over by something that couldn't lie. "Then what are you offering?"

"Hey, no fair!" yelled Hermes and Mercury in unison. "Why does he get to cut?"

"Shut up, you'll get your turn," said Kazuya. "What do you want with me? I killed you, the other Archangels, the one in the TV station, enslaved y—am I still your summoner?"

"You are no longer my master," said Uriel. "I want you to come with me."

"Why?" asked Kazuya.

"I want to win an argument."

Kazuya was not expecting this. Angels didn't argue, just smote. "What will you give me if I come with you?" asked Kazuya. "I'm not interested in Heaven; the other angels won't forgive me, and Aoi won't be there."

"Forgiveness," said Uriel quickly. "For all of your reincarnations, no angel will take revenge upon you for what you have done in this life."

Kazuya tilted his head. "That doesn't sound like a bad deal," he said. "What do I have to do to get it?"

"For one year, you will live in another world," said Uriel. "At the end of this period, or if you die before it is over, you may choose your afterlife from the ones here."

"And what will I have to do there?" asked Kazuya.

"Anything you wish," said Uriel.

"…That sounds good," said Kazuya. He turned to the line of psychopomps. "Will anything I do in this next world change my karma?"

NO, said Death. YOUR TIME IS OVER.

"Good to know," said Kazuya. "All right, Uriel. I'll do it."

"Right this way."

X

First rule of hunting: Check everything.

It was a tired piece of advice, one of a set told to children who thought hunting demons was cool rather than to Hunter Cadets themselves, in a manner not dissimilar to police officers telling elementary school children to save the town by picking up litter and not bullying each other. That said, it wasn't a bad piece of advice; it had saved Nanashi's life dozens of times before in the past two weeks, whether by surprising would-be ambushers or by scrounging up just enough relics to pay for a set of upgraded armor. Well, it saved Nanashi from a lot of pain, at least; it wasn't like he could die.

The Divine Powers sprang up out of nowhere twice, snatching victory from humanity's outstretched hands; they looked pretty dead the last time Nanashi saw them, but you never knew with demons. So before he slayed YHVH and claimed the new universe, he took a few detours.

His first stop was Tsukiji Hongwanji. The warp doors were confusing as hell, but after finally reaching the main temple and examining the statues properly, neither Nanashi nor Dagda could find any whiff of Maitreya. It helped that all of his followers were dead and Yuriko's loyalists had purged the temple of his influence; all the old trails that could muck up the search were gone, and there were no new trails.

Odin was harder to pin down. Flynn confessed to unsealing his memories in Shibuya (Nanashi had expected him to get on his knees and apologize, but there wasn't enough of him left to want forgiveness), but nothing was there. The gate in Kinshicho was gone as well. After some discussion, they decided to leave a Force-specializing demon immune to electricity in stock in case Odin tried to ambush them.

Nanashi and Dagda decided not to look for Inanna, since she wasn't a leader, and definitely not because walking around Tokyo for the Aether Jars was boring.

All that was left was Krishna. He was easy; the Ark was the place they found him, after all.

"I'm surprised you didn't come here earlier," said Krishna.

"We might as well give you a sendoff," said Nanashi. He pointed back the way he came. "I'm caving in the entrance. No one can do what I did to Flynn."

"Brainwash you into worshiping them like a god?" said Hallelujah dryly. At least he still had his sense of humor.

"Screw up my plans at the last minute," said Nanashi.

"How about I lend you my power?" said Krishna. "All you have to do is-"

Nanashi crossed his arms. "Really? You want to pull this now?"

"I am at your mercy," said Krishna serenely. "You killed me once, do you not think you can kill me again?"

Nanashi said nothing.

_Kid, you're not serious, are you_? said Dagda telepathically.

_The Demon Summoning Program doesn't allow betrayals_, Nanashi replied. _Sure, your demons might not listen if you're weak, but they can't stab you in the back. If Krishna's in my phone, I know he's not plotting revenge. I just have one question, though…_

"Why?"

Krishna smiled. "If this universe should perish, I would rather see the end with my own eyes, rather than spend my last hours watching the waterfall."

Nanashi shrugged. "All right, I'll do it."

"I do have one condition, though," said Krishna.

Nanashi cocked his head. "Are you sure you don't want to be locked in here alone?"

"Are you sure that you are satisfied leaving me alone?"

There was a long pause.

"…What do you want?" asked Nanashi.

"It is but a trifling matter," said Krishna. "One of my past lives would like to win a bet, and I require a human's assistance."

Nanashi stared. "Your…past life?"

_Kid, he has ten_, said Dagda.

"But… if you're the same person, how can you-"

His phone pinged.

_I made a memo. Read it later. Now can we just get going?_

"…What do you need me to do?"

"Put your hand on the sphere. In this world, you will fall unconscious for about one minute. But in another world, you shall spend one year doing whatever you wish."

Nanashi tilted his head. "…I'm not saying I won't do it, but what does that have to do with a bet?"

"Now, now… if you knew, there would be no point in a bet," said Krishna.

Nanashi looked at the Ark. On one hand, it was most definitely a trap. On the other, if he didn't do it, he'd never know, and the thought would be at the back of his mind while fighting YHVH. If Nanashi was sure of anything, it was that when fighting God, one should not pause and wonder if he left the oven on.

"I'll do it."

_Kid…_

"Dagda, you got me out of Mephistopheles's illusion. You can save me from this."

Flynn put his hand to his sword. "If my master does not wake, I shall destroy you."

"Yeah… what he said," said Hallelujah, raising his fists awkwardly.

Nanashi looked into the eyes of his good friend, and wondered if he would have done the same had he not been brainwashed.

He touched the stone.

X

"This looks interesting. Mind if I join you?"

Another player would be a great way for the other two to forget their grudge. Worst case, they ignore them. Best case, the new player would become so powerful that the first two would rather team up than suffer defeat. "Yeah, su…"

Forseti looked up. Louis Cypher smiled back at him.

Surprisingly for a god of justice, Forseti was officially Neutral. In his deeds and thoughts, he was Lawful; he punished oathbreakers, enforced rules, and went boozing with the other Aesir. However, if he took a side between Law and Chaos, he would no longer be Impartial, which went against his very being. Hence, Neutral.

Unsurprisingly, Forseti was not a very popular god outside of his pantheon. The softcore Lawfuls and Neutrals tolerated him as much as they tolerated any lawyer or judge, but the hardcore Lawfuls saw him as a turncoat, the hardcore Neutrals saw him as a backslider, and almost all of Chaos hated him as someone who lived by the laws. A few Chaotic entities appreciated that he occasionally ruled in their favor, but those were few and far between.

The thought did not reassure him in the slightest when the Paragon of Chaos was standing over him. "…You want to play?" he peeped.

"Of course," said Louis Cypher.

Adding Chaos to the mix would certainly distract the Lawful archangel and the Neutral avatar from killing each other, and in the meantime, both Law and Chaos would lose a head honcho. Lucifer was more highly ranked than Uriel, but Chaos was so disorganized that it wouldn't matter as much.

"…Do you have a piece?"

"Do you expect so little of me?"

X

Life was good. The sun shined, the sky was blue, and no one had any idea how much they took that for granted.

Naoki took another bite of his strawberry bread, savoring the tart, foamy cream on sweet bread. He had been standing at the pier for hours, watching the sun trace its path along the azure sky. Seagulls hopped and screeched at one another, and Naoki was getting a lot of odd stares from workers.

It had been two months since the Conception, and Naoki had not yet fallen off that euphoric high of just enjoying the splendor of the world. Everything, from the brightest flower to the ugliest factory, had its own sense of wonder, whether it was from the aesthetics or the sheer amount of work and effort put into its creation.

At last, the sky blazed bright pink and orange, and it was time for Naoki to go back and do his homework. He hefted his bag, and started to walk back to the dorm.

And then a truck hit him.

X

Naoki opened his eyes. He was standing in what looked like an endless white void, inhabited only by himself and a veiled woman.

_Oh, young man, taken from life too soon… _

"Really?" said Naoki, crossing his arms. "A truck? Do you really expect me to die from being hit by a truck?"

The woman flinched, but continued. _In accordance wi—_

"No, really. Do you have any idea how hard Thor hits? I've taken his hammer head-on and survived. I've hit the ground at terminal velocity and survived. Sure, it was a heavy truck, but its mass couldn't have offset the spee… wait." Naoki tilted his head.

"One floor of Mantra HQ was something like three times my height, let's say I'm… 1.5 meters tall, I jumped off the 60th floor… that's 270 meters, d = ½ * a * t^2, that's… root 52 seconds, round that to seven… I hit the ground at 70 m/s, I weigh about 60 kilos, so… K = ½ mv^2, so 15,000 Joules? That truck was… two thousand kilos, so… huh, never mind. 7.5 m/s is only 27 km/hr." (A/N 27 km/hr is less than 17 mph). I guess that truck could have killed me."

The woman sighed and removed the veil, revealing long blonde hair and an impressive pair of horns. "All right, if you're not going to play along, there's no point in dragging this out any further. I—wait, what?"

"On the other hand, if we account for impulse rather than energy, or take into account the pressure of—wait, what?"

There was an awkward pause.

"…Let me introduce myself," said the horned woman. "I am Ishtar, goddess of war and fertility. I work for His Excellency, Lucifer Morningstar, and he has a job offer for you."

Naoki tilted his head. On one hand, working for Lucifer gave him a lot of insight into what was going on in the Vortex World, a lot more than what he would have known from the Amala Network alone. On the other hand, this _was_ the Devil, and who knew what he was plan—

"He is willing to pay you one hundred thousand yen and a new Magatama if you help him win a bet."

Naoki's fingers twitched. "This seems…petty."

"I do not claim to know everything that goes on in His Excellency's head, but I can at least assure you that this is not important," said Ishtar. "He merely wants to win a contest that has no stakes."

Naoki blinked. "_Why?_"

"Even he gets bored, I suppose," said Ishtar. "Should you refuse, there will be no consequences, and you will wake up on a hospital bed miraculously unscathed."

"What do you want me to do?"

Ishtar told him.

"I'll do it, on one condition."

"Name it."

"Let me bring my books. I have a test next week, and I don't want to forget anything while I'm gone."

"Granted."

X

And so, three ten-year old boys woke up one lovely morning in Pallet Town, watched by some extradimensional beings who were rapidly dropping money into betting pools…

Oh, and the bar's human workers, who were making a mint off of the onlookers.

TO BE CONTINUED!


End file.
